{"id":1132,"date":"2023-03-24T07:54:22","date_gmt":"2023-03-24T07:54:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/?p=1132"},"modified":"2023-03-24T08:04:51","modified_gmt":"2023-03-24T08:04:51","slug":"how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Deal With A Child Who Hates You?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>First things first &#8211; your child does not hate you. They may say they do, and it certainly may feel like it &#8211; but that connection between a child and parent is pretty strong.<\/p>\n<p>There are a lot of reasons why a child may say that they hate you, or act unkindly towards you &#8211; let\u2019s have a look at these reasons, and find some strategies to help you deal with it.<\/p>\n<h2>How To Deal With A Child Who Hates You<\/h2>\n<p>When you first hear those three little words from your precious darling, it can be a really heartbreaking moment. Here\u2019s how to hold it together:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Breathe<\/strong>. Take a moment to calm your initial thoughts and automatic responses, especially if those words have been flung at you during a heated moment.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Ensure your child knows you love them<\/strong>. Of course they don\u2019t actually hate you &#8211; they may be pushing to see how much you actually DO love them, so make sure they know you always will.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Explain that words can hurt<\/strong>. The child needs to know that saying something like this can be very painful for the recipient &#8211; don\u2019t shame them, but let them know it\u2019s unkind.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Try to find out why they\u2019re saying it<\/strong>. Your child may have said they hate you because you said they can\u2019t have chocolate for dinner &#8211; explore some more appropriate reactions.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Talk to them when you\u2019re both calm<\/strong>. Some children really can\u2019t cope in the heat of the moment, so you may have to leave the conversation until they are calm and regulated.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Validate the feelings<\/strong>. Whatever has caused them to say what they say is what you need to be dealing with, so make sure they know that you hear and accept their feelings.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>What Does It Mean If Your Child Hates You?<\/h2>\n<p>The most important thing to remember is that a child isn\u2019t necessarily operating on the same level as an adult who says they hate you.<\/p>\n<p>Kids tend to say these things in an explosive, out of the blue moment &#8211; saying <em>\u201cI hate you!\u201d<\/em> really doesn\u2019t mean they actually hate you.<\/p>\n<p>It can be really hard to deal with all the different things in the world, and kids have far fewer tools than adults with which to do so.<\/p>\n<p>Any child who says they hate you is struggling <a href=\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/my-child-has-a-hard-time-focusing-in-school\/\">with some really big feelings<\/a> &#8211; they feel awful and want to let you know about it!<\/p>\n<p>Being kind, fair and firm, and establishing healthy boundaries about what is and is not OK to say to another person is a good step forward here.<\/p>\n<p>Remember to try not to take it personally &#8211; although it feels really painful, it is not YOU that they are hating, but a certain situation.<\/p>\n<h2>Why Does A Child Reject A Parent?<\/h2>\n<p>If you think about it, parents represent safety, home, love and comfort to a child. If a parent is fully rejected, there is always a reason.<\/p>\n<p>It might start with little one preferring Mummy over Daddy &#8211; this is normal and almost expected when they are tiny, as it is usually Mum who is there most of the time.<\/p>\n<p>The child may choose Daddy over Mummy, especially as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-keep-your-teenager-from-sneaking-out\/\">they get older<\/a> &#8211; again, this is developmentally normal and nothing to worry about.<\/p>\n<p>Parental alienation is a much more worrying dynamic, often seen in parents who have split up. One parent may subtly &#8211; or not so subtly &#8211; undermine the other, so that the child no longer feels safe with that parent.<\/p>\n<p>Attachment disorders can also cause parental rejection &#8211; if a child has been suddenly separated from their mother early in their development, it can lead to personality issues.<\/p>\n<h2>How Do You React When Your Child Is Mean To You?<\/h2>\n<p>If you\u2019re anything like me, you either burst into noisy sobs, or you retaliate with mean behaviour right back!<\/p>\n<p>OK, I\u2019m joking &#8211; no one does this to a child. But, it can be hard to know what to do for the best when your child does something mean. Let\u2019s explore some options.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>First, <strong>take a breath<\/strong>. You will need to be in a calm, collected state of mind so that you can deal with the behaviour.<\/li>\n<li>Next, <strong>ask questions<\/strong>. Finding out why your child has lobbed a wooden brick at your head, or told you that you\u2019re the worst parent in the world, is key.<\/li>\n<li>You should also <strong>validate their feelings<\/strong>. Yes, I know &#8211; they do often seem to be wildly over dramatic &#8211; but they need to know that what they\u2019re feeling is OK to feel.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Let them know they are loved<\/strong>. Some kids push boundaries specifically to test how much the parent loves them &#8211; this is especially true for anxious children.<\/li>\n<li>Finally, <strong>talk when everyone is calm<\/strong>. The heat of the moment may not be the best time to have a big discussion, so bring it up when tempers have died down.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2>Why Does My Child Say Hurtful Things?<\/h2>\n<p>Kids don\u2019t generally say hurtful things with the sole intention of hurting you or making you sad.<\/p>\n<p>Generally, hurtful words and behaviour stems from an unmet need in the child &#8211; he or she is struggling, and feels the need to lash out.<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t have to allow this to happen &#8211; model to your child the importance of being kind and caring, and they should hopefully start to pick it up.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not an instant fix, so if your child has been saying hurtful things for a while it might take time to stop &#8211; but it\u2019s worth it in the long run.<\/p>\n<h2>Final Words<\/h2>\n<p>Hate is such a strong word, isn\u2019t it? Most of the time, when a child uses it, they are trying to express something else &#8211; big feelings all the way!<\/p>\n<p>We hope that reading through our hints and tips can help you to deal with the problem &#8211; and realise that even big issues like this can be worked through.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>First things first &#8211; your child does not hate you. They may say they do, and it certainly may feel like it &#8211; but that connection between a child and parent is pretty strong. There are a lot of reasons why a child may say that they hate you, or act unkindly towards you &#8211; let\u2019s have a look at these reasons, and find some strategies to help you deal with it. How To Deal With A Child Who Hates You When you first hear those three little words from your precious darling, it can be a really heartbreaking moment. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1134,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How To Deal With A Child Who Hates You? - Kids Toys Club<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are a lot of reasons why a child may say that they hate you - here&#039;s how to deal with a child who hates you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Deal With A Child Who Hates You? - Kids Toys Club\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are a lot of reasons why a child may say that they hate you - here&#039;s how to deal with a child who hates you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Kids Toys Club\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-03-24T07:54:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-03-24T08:04:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Kids-Toys-Club-5.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nicky Ellis\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Nicky Ellis\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/\",\"name\":\"How To Deal With A Child Who Hates You? - Kids Toys Club\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-03-24T07:54:22+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-03-24T08:04:51+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/ffcaf9f2829c838753679b00807c4828\"},\"description\":\"There are a lot of reasons why a child may say that they hate you - here's how to deal with a child who hates you.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/how-to-deal-with-a-child-who-hates-you\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How To Deal With A Child Who Hates You?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/\",\"name\":\"Kids Toys Club\",\"description\":\"Kids Love To Play With Our Toys\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/ffcaf9f2829c838753679b00807c4828\",\"name\":\"Nicky Ellis\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.kidstoysclub.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/90010401663837be9e3b5f9070b3e4e9?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/90010401663837be9e3b5f9070b3e4e9?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Nicky Ellis\"},\"description\":\"Nicky started Kids Toys Club in 2016. 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